Social Retardation
Posted on 23. Feb, 2007 by Derrick in Philosophy, Random Ramblings
If you have spent any amount of time with me, you would know that I suffer from Social Retardation. Such a person has no idea how to act or communicate in the presence of others, but does not get embarrassed because they are not aware of their own deficiencies. I often find that I’ve offended someone but don’t realize that I’ve done it till it’s too late.
I like to take responsibility for my own actions, but I place this deficiency squarely on my father’s shoulders. His main focus in life was to embarrass me to the point of no return. Mowing the lawn in cut off jeans and cowboy boots was the norm. He desensitized me to not realizing my own iniquity.
My anti-anxiety disorder has been so transfixed in my psyche that I have dwelled on this difficulty since I became cognizant to the situation in high school. The problem is that I’m only aware of my hitch after the fact. In other words, My mouth doesn’t always have break lights.
A great example is when I was a sophomore in college. At the time I was taking a human anatomy/physiology class. Now I’m not a bigot outside of the usual cracker jokes, but one day I said something that still to this day makes me cringe. We were doing lab work on some cellular material, and my Native American lab partner wouldn’t stop screwing around with the kerosene. Me being the overly demanding group leader told him “Hey red boy, can you put down the fire water and help us out here”.
Um, yeah. Read that sentence again. It sets in more on the second read.
Now I know what you are thinking, “Derrick you are socially retarded”, but let me try and explain. He was wearing a large red hoodie, and was playing with kerosene. This sentence made sense given the facts of the argument. Taken out of context, and removing the immediate visual stimuli, I look like a jack ass. My lab partner eventually dropped the class, and I later found out was because of my perceived racism. If I could meet that guy again, I would apologize.
Being blunt to the point of it being a fault, or saying something with no malice is no excuse. Intentions or not, it is my responsibility if I’ve offended them. Their perceived emotion is the only thing that matters. My problem is that I’m oblivious to their perceived emotion, or I simply don’t give a shit.
What is already an issue becomes even more apparent when involving alcohol. Not only do I say inappropriate abrasive comments, but I then don’t think people understand me and I repeat myself ad nauseum. This gets exasperated by being at a club or a bar because I subsequently get loud. I lose all perspective. Sheep fucking, rectal exams, merciless humpage of women ect ect. Nothing at this point of myself degradation would humiliate me.
And this brings me to my point. I want to thank the people that not only put up with my shit, but then join in, and become my cohorts in Social Retardation. You people make me feel like I’m not the only blabbering idiot in this world. Thanks!
-D
11 Responses to “Social Retardation”
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Mary
24. Feb, 2007
Ok – I’m still laughing….and this actually made my husband laugh out loud – which is hard to do. I feel bad for the guy you made the comment about but seriously…it’s hilarious!
Brenda
28. Dec, 2008
I never laughed so hard in my life! I thought I was going to have a heart attack! You truly are a very entertaining socially retarded person. I’m socially retarded too, but I’m not funny. I know this post was dated early 2007…but, I just found it now. I’m still wiping my laughing tears.
Baratacus
04. Oct, 2009
found this while looking for solutions to social retardation. My daughter is a genius and I’ve been trying to circumvent the anticipated inability to socialize with children her own age since she was in pre-school. She’s involved in sports, summer camps, after school programs… all angled toward keeping her socialized. Her natural tendency is to go read a book by herself rather than play with her peers. Her eventual social retardation, would lead to an inability to understand how other people think and perceive things. Much as you described the condition.
The author of this article however does not suffer from true social retardation. He IS aware that his comments are uncalled for but makes them anyway. Unless he speaks Cantonese, The red-man firewater thing was not unintentional… no one else refers to kerosene as firewater. Socially incorrect, but with intent. I’ve seen too many people feign the “oh I didn’t know I was offending… I’m a big retard” and using that as their donkey blanket through life to make off color remarks.
The fact that it manifests itself more frequently when intoxicated indicates that he has a subconscious drive to offend people and create social discomfort in others. This isn’t social retardation, but instead is anti-social behavior from what is most likely poor upbringing. The author hints at his fathers embarrassing and socially incorrect behavior. The authors embarrassment shows that he was aware that his fathers behavior was improper and would not follow this example in social etiquette unless spurred by some deep rooted parent child issues.
Though this is a humorous piece to read, it’s disturbing that the author of this piece may never get the help he needs to resolve the issue and will go through life socially shooting himself in the foot and condemning himself to bitter relationships and a lot of loneliness in his later years. .
dave
04. Jan, 2010
what’s even more disturbing is the level of NECROMANCY being channeled through this article. Every reply is another year later.
mine takes care of 2010, huzzah..
Derrick
04. Jan, 2010
I’ll admit, This is my favorite blog I’ve written.
Emily
08. Jan, 2010
Seriously? This is the most insensitive blog I’ve ever read.
Nikki
23. Jan, 2010
Baratacus you took this way to serious. Derrick may never be able to hold a relationship down, but that is because no one girl deserves to be with him.
Name Baratacus
02. Feb, 2010
Like the Redman/Firewater comment, it was an attempt at humor but was done completely off color.
It’s acceptable when a Jewish commedian makes Jewish jokes, or a black comedian makes black jokes, or a redneck makes redneck jokes because they are making light of a bias held against them. When a person who doesn’t belong in those religious, racial, or cultural niches makes jokes about them it is not funny, its bigotry. Derrik is in effect making fun of socially retarded people by referring to his bigotry as social retardation.
“Sheep fucking, rectal exams, merciless humpage of women ect ect.”
really, no one girl?
Insensitive is an understatement.
.
12. Mar, 2010
You are not ‘socially retarded’ as you put it, merely self-deceived.
Name
12. Jun, 2010
Funny.
Name
12. Aug, 2010
Your diagnosis is Aspergers